Most of the time I don't even really know what I will write on the blog, sometimes I have a good idea, sometimes just a vague idea, usually I click around on the internet, read the Post and the Times online, see an article that ticks me off and add that to the list.

Plenty of stories about 2000 dead in Iraq. I wonder if the people that write them have any idea about who actually passed away? Or how it really affects us over here?

There are tons of stories to write about and sometimes I can't even make the effort, because I am tired or just don't feel like it. Those stories get lost, sometimes, because then I forget about them or to add them to the journal. Or sometimes I spend six hours on the computer, composing and writing because there are so many things I want to say and so much emotion trapped inside of me that I find the writing to be very therapeutic.

Random things that I wanted to write about, like today, sometimes get lost, because I read my last post and it wipes all the funny stories away, or pushes them elsewhere in my head.

Or there is a bunch of email I need to answer but I don't have the time and I can't even get into my mail account because it is down right now. So I have some email I need to send!

Sometimes I wonder if I am doing all that I can in this war, or if I should be doing more. I *feel* like I should be doing more, I know that there is stuff to be done, but then I get a bit down or exhausted from all of the effort of living in Iraq in the middle of a combat zone. And when I feel like that, just getting dressed is a small victory. Other times I feel like I am on top of the world and knock all kinds of stuff out. Then, the next day I'll have one of those days where I sink into bed without even brushing my teeth (embarrassing when I wake up, by the way).

Even for a bunch of guys, emotional swings do occur, and sometimes we go up and down.

Combat patrol went really well the other day, as far as those things go. A few hours driving around Iraq--very uneventful-so that counts for something. Although, the Iraqis get so animated when Americans go out on patrol with them. They put on quite a show for us, stopping traffic and conducting the patrol. Right when we were getting ready to leave, the truck in front of us kicked forward as the driver stepped on the gas, and one of the Iraqi soldiers in the back flew out of the back of the truck and landed really hard on the ground. It's hard for me to even describe, it was comical in a way except he did cut his head open a bit. His legs just went out from under him and then he hit the ground-laid out.

All the Iraqis got really excited and started yelling at each other in Arabic and yelling at the guy on the ground, making up the translation in my head "Holy shit, the Americans are here for patrol and you're making us look bad. Get up, get up, you loser! Just a small cut, now get back in the truck!"

Well, ok, I have no idea if that is what they said, but he still tried to go on patrol with us. We had to send him out to the hospital but he was fine.

Stopping out on patrol, I got in the strangest discussion with an Iraqi soldier that spoke really great English. I found out he's self-taught from American movies on Arabic satellite, and he really loves Arnold. Commando, Terminator, and Rocky movies-he could quote from them! Ha ha-note to self, learn more than 10 Arabic words, quick.

Another friend I work with in the USMC stopped by-he visits about once a week. He got hit by an IED the other day on a foot patrol, him an another guy. Blew up about 10 meters from him, luckily just minor wounds. I heard this attack on the radio, and that two Marines were injured, and I had been worried about who it was. I even thought about giving him a hug, but you don't really hug Marines, ya know? So, now he knows what getting hit by an IED is like, and we have our little fraternity together.

Although the thought crossed my mind, again, "Holy cow, it is really getting dangerous out there. What the heck is going on and I hope that my time isn't due again to get hit by an IED!"